For those of you in a committed, romantic relationship who are planning to go away before university, the initial excitement can often be overshadowed by anxiety.
1. See it in terms of what you are gaining, not just what you’ll be losing
Physical proximity isn’t the only way to feel connected – recognising that you are important enough to each other that you can be far away and still feel close is something that not everyone gets the chance to establish.
See this as a chance to look at how you cope as a couple with a situation that isn’t ideal. Establishing that, as a couple, you have the skills to do this will make your relationship stronger.
2. Be clear about expectations
Speak about what this means to you in terms of how you’ll socialise, how often you’ll communicate and visit, and integrally, what your level of commitment is.
The clearer you are about boundaries and expectations the more likely it will be that you’ll survive the distance.
3. Communicate
Do it often, do it regularly and do it well so that each of you feels that you know what is going on in each other’s lives.
The more you communicate, even about the small trivial stuff, the more connected you’ll feel.
4. Give each other something to serve as a memento
We attach meaning to and store memories in physical things – whether it’s that silly Polaroid that you took together on your first date or your favourite old sweatshirt sprayed with your perfume.
Giving each other something personal to look at and hold on to when you think of each other is a great way to stay in each other’s thoughts.
5. Enjoy yourselves (both of you!)
You decided to go on this gap year for a reason so don’t make this all doom and gloom, make it worth all you are sacrificing for it.
Have fun and be happy for each other when you share experiences. No one wants to feel resented for having a good time, so be aware of your reaction to your partner’s stories and experiences.
6. Do stuff together
The great thing about being in a long-distance relationship today is that you can actually do stuff together.
Arrange a time to watch the same movie while Skyping, show each other the amazing view from your room, send each other new music you’ve discovered. Stay connected!
7. Finally, remember why you are doing this
You probably came to the decision to go away after some serious thought, so when things get tough remember why you decided to go and also remember that your time apart is not forever.
The truth is, even though it’s hard, many, many relationships not only survive distance but can thrive from having survived it.
Linda Papadopoulos: Whose Life Is It Anyway? Living Through Your 20s On Your Own Terms
