Last week, we talked about imagining the life you truly want, not the life you think you should want, not the life that keeps everyone else comfortable, and certainly not a life built around constantly putting yourself last.
Dreaming about a different life is only the beginning; at some point you have to stop imagining it and start creating it. Because the life you want rarely arrives neatly wrapped on your doorstep. It is built through decisions, boundaries, courage, consistency and sometimes, the willingness to walk away from what is no longer right for you.
Start with the life you want and not the life you fear. What if I fail? What if people don’t understand? What if I disappoint someone? What if I am too old? What if I lose what I already have?
Constantly asking what could go wrong can keep you trapped in exactly the life you are trying to change. So instead ask yourself, what if it works? Wow, now that changes everything! What if the new project you have been dreaming about succeeds? What if you meet new people who genuinely appreciate you? What if you become happier, healthier, more confident and more fulfilled? You don’t need to know how everything will unfold, but you do simply need to believe in yourself enough to take the next step.
Turn your dreams into decisions; a dream becomes much more powerful when you give it a direction. Instead of saying “I want a happier life”, ask what happiness would actually look like for you. Perhaps it means more travel, creativity, better health, financial independence, freedom, new friendships, a loving relationship, more time outdoors, building a business, returning to something you once loved, it may simply be just having more peace. Whatever it is, just write it down and the ask: What can I do this week that moves me towards it?
Big changes are often created through surprisingly small actions repeated consistently. One phone call. One application. One meeting. One workout. One boundary. One afternoon spent doing something you love. One decision to stop giving your energy to something that continually drains it.
Small does not mean insignificant – stop waiting for permission or someone else’s approval. We could wait for a family to agree, a partner to understand us, a friend to support us, a boss to recognize us, or for the right time to arrive. However, sometimes that permission you are waiting for has to come from you, other people are not you. You are allowed to try something different, you are allowed to outgrow people, routines, environments, and expectations that no longer fit the person you are becoming. You do not need to provide everyone with a ten-page explanation of how and why. Often the less that people that know of your full plans, the less they are then capable of adding any of their negative input or doubt that they could possibly instil within you. Remember they may have their own limitations and are scared to take that chance, but they are not you, and you do not need that. Share only with those who are also fearless with the drive and ambition to be bold and adventurous.
Remember to pay attention to how you feel after spending time with people, which environments energies you, and which leave you exhausted. Notice the activities that make you feel alive and the one you continue doing simply out of habit. Your time and energy are your limited resources, spend them wisely. Work out where you need to invest your time in to create the life you want, get more organized, more financially disciplined, more assertive, more adventurous, more willing to say no, take more calculated risks, proceed fearlessly, more comfortable being seen. Your future is not only about changing your circumstances, it is also about developing yourself. Every difficult decision you make for your own good and wellbeing builds confidence, and confidence doesn’t always arrive before you act. Sometime confidence is the result of acting and proceeding like the warrior ready for anything that gets thrown their way.
Change can feel uncomfortable precisely because it is unfamiliar, and you are entering the unknown. You may even have moments when you wonder whether you have made the right decisions, but that does not automatically mean you have made the wrong one, and sometimes that discomfort may simply be the feeling of growing beyond your old life.
The biggest thing is to make room for unexpected possibilities, and a change of path direction. Do not make the plan so rigid that there is no room for something better. You may have imagined one particular career, relationship, destination, or lifestyle, only to discover something even better that you had not considered. Be open, stay curious, talk to people outside your usual circles, follow interesting opportunities and ideas just because they fascinate you. Some of the best chapters of your life experiences begin with something you never planned.
Choose progress over perfection, you do not need to transform your entire life overnight, and you do not need a five-year plan. What you need is the next step, then another, then another. There will be brilliant constructive days, and some difficult days with setbacks, and days when you lose motivation. That’s life, the goal is not perfection, the goal is to keep moving towards a life that feels increasingly like your own. It is easy to become so focused on the future that you forget to live in the present. No saying “I will be happy when…”, instead just be happy now as you enjoy the journey!
Celebrate what is happening now, have the lunch, wear the outfit, dance in your kitchen, make the call, go somewhere beautiful, try something ridiculous or outrageous.
Your dream life is not only the destination.
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
www.samsarabellydancer.co.uk
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou