We can all feel that we don’t belong anywhere at times in our lives; like we are just not a good fit to the surroundings and possibly the people that are within it. Most of us will experience this at some point, possibly feeling we can’t relate to anyone and others may also not quite understand how or why we feel this way.
Of course there are occasions where it may be a result of something deeper that triggers off this feeling. Whatever it is, it is part of feeling the need to feel like we can relate to someone around us at some point, in a way that is important to us uniquely.
Many go out of their way to set themselves apart from the regular crowd that they feel they do not belong to or want to be like, yet they will still be like someone else who looks, thinks, acts, or has been through similar circumstances and feel just as they do, even though they may be somewhere else in the world and they have never met.
The thought that there is someone else out there somewhere in a similar situation just like us, may be that little extra comfort that brings us back to the reality of it all, knowing that we are not actually alone, even though we feel all alone at the time, in that ‘not belonging’ feeling.
We are constantly bombarded from all aspects of media, social media, family, friends, and associates where we should see the world as they do, but at times we don’t and that’s okay, as it takes a lot of different thought perspectives, creative ideas and actions to make the world go round and create change.
A personality with a different world view can make one feel isolated as that person may not feel understood, and therefore feel like they do not belong.
A way to tackle this is to find other people who see the world from a similar view, finding locations, groups and activities where you can connect with like-minded people that can understand what may feel normal to you, but not so normal to those others.
When you can communicate freely and another person understands how you feel, it makes you feel accepted and welcome. You may not be able to clearly express your innermost thoughts, specific needs, desires and passions in a clear concise way to those people around you, so expressing the thoughts to a receptive person or group without judgement can be far easier.
Anyone can hear what you have to say, but listening and understanding is a skill in itself.
People can have a lot to say, but many don’t actually listen to what the other person is saying, they impose their own thoughts, opinions and beliefs on another person’s words that has no positive impact on helping another as they cannot sincerely empathise on another’s feelings. They may assume that certain thoughts, feelings are backed by different motivations other than what the original speaker intended.
The person who has the feeling of not belonging does not need another person to try and fix them, they are not broken, they just need to be understood, respected and accepted just as they are, along with their own choice of action. The ability to listen is essential for clear communication which can help both parties feel understood and reach a compromise far easier when required.
The good news is that we can choose to embrace change in our lives, we can adapt move and grow with it and evolve with life. We find our own safety valves rather than constantly fighting against them.
No matter how much of our personality or characteristics we compromise, there’s no magic formula for the feeling like ‘we belong’ – we either do or don’t. The worst part of feeling this way is being surrounded by people in a crowd that make you feel more alone than ever.
There are many people who will enrich our lives by bringing a lot of happiness with good, kind understanding, we just have to keep moving toward at our own pace for comfort.
Reasons for feeling you don’t belong:
1. A job with no joy fulfilment
2. Enjoying adventure and excitement but restricted
3. Social anxiety meeting or speaking with people
4. Living in an area without culture fit
5. Subjects of interest not eagerly accepted in society
6. Loneliness without immediate family
7. Loneliness without familiar existing friends
8. Extrovert or introvert personality
9. Low self-esteem.
10. You have changed and no longer fit in with those around you
There will always be someone who understands you and where you can belong! Do some research.
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
www.samsarabellydancer.co.uk
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou
