Most of us have heard the saying ‘when life throws you lemons – make lemonade’ – it may be a lovely sentiment, reminding us to turn difficult situations into something positive. But what happens when life gives us so many lemons that we have not even had time to squeeze the first one, before another dozen come tumbling down? Sometimes it doesn’t just throw you lemons, it feels like it empties the whole fruit bowl and a cart over your head.
Life has a peculiar way of testing us, just when we think we have got everything under control, another problem appears. A family member becomes unwell, our home needs unexpected repairs, work becomes overwhelming, relationships challenge our patience, or our finances take an unwelcome hit.
If everything happens at once, it can be really difficult; it is in these moments that even the most positive, capable and resilient amongst us, can feel exhausted. We may wonder how we are supposed to keep going when we already feel stretched to our limits.
Whilst we cannot always control what happens to us, we can learn how to navigate those difficult periods without losing ourselves in the process.
One of the hardest things about facing multiple problems is that they rarely arrive with gaps in between. We might manage one crisis, only to discover that another requires our immediate attention. When this happens, our mind becomes overwhelmed – every problem begins to feel equally urgent, our thoughts race ahead to everything that could go wrong.
Stress can affect our sleep, concentration, patience and emotional wellbeing. We might become irritable with people, withdraw from social activities, or find ourselves worrying about situations we cannot immediately change. The first thing to remember is that feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are weak or incapable, it simply means you are dealing with a lot.
You do not need to be endlessly positive, hold everything together or pretend you are fine when you are not. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is acknowledge that life feels difficult right now.
When problems pile up, our natural instinct may be to tackle everything at once. We make endless lists, mentally rehearse conversations, worry about future consequences, and exhaust ourselves trying to find solutions before we have even had a chance to breathe. Not every problem needs to be solved immediately, take a step back and separate worries into three categories.
- What needs attention now? Focus on genuine priorities, such as an urgent family matter, an essential repair or an important deadline.
- What can wait? Some tasks can be postponed until you have more time, energy, or information.
- What is out of your control? Other people’s decisions, unexpected events, and certain outcomes cannot be managed by worrying harder.
This simple exercise can help restore a sense of perspective; instead of asking how am I going to manage everything, ask yourself: what is the next useful thing I can do? You do not need to see the entire staircase to take the next step. Make that one phone call, arrange an appointment, ask someone for help or simply get a decent night’s sleep before making a decision.
Better decisions are made with a clear fresh mind. Allow each night’s sleep to be restful, find an unwind routine that works for you, a little light reading, watching your favourite TV programme, some gentle music, or meditation before sleep. Do not allow others to bring up the conversation of any of the problems just before sleep.
Make sure you still do some things that relax you and give you joy and pleasure – a nourishing meal you love, chats with friends or family that lift your spirits. They are not trivial distractions from the important issues, they are reminders that life is still happening alongside our difficulties. You can still enjoy a blue sky, sunset, sunny afternoon or a nice dinner. Happiness doesn’t have to wait till the problems are gone.
Often support can simply mean asking a family member to help with an errand, allowing a friend to listen without always offering solutions. You don’t have to tell everyone everything, choose people who listen without judging, respect your feelings and leave you supported rather than more drained.
Protect your peace at this time even more so, with so much going on we have less patience for unnecessary drama, one sided relationships and people who demand more than they give in return. Step back from draining conversations, establish firmer boundaries with those that expect you to be available at all times. No need to justify your decision to protect your wellbeing.
Pay attention to where your energy goes – postpone a commitment if necessary, quiet times can also be restorative, it allows thoughts that can resolve issues. Enjoy a warm bath, sip a glass of wine or your favourite cup of hot chocolate, enjoy a nice dessert. Relaxing the mind is essential for clearer thinking process.
Through this challenging time, choose who you surround yourself with, people who bring kindness, perspective laughter and genuine support into your life. There may be some around who have great wisdom and can offer genuine good ideas and knowledge for better decisions through their own life experience. Seek good guidance.
When we relax, it is at these times that an idea can suddenly trigger a possible solution to resolve a problem.
Eat, sleep well and take each day as it comes, but make sure you do something each day, one constructive step to move closer to getting an issue dealt with.
Love and Sparkles
Samsara x
www.samsarabellydancer.co.uk
Facebook: Samsara Kyriakou